Monday’s Martial Madness: New Year’s Resolutions for the Martial Artist

AAAaaaaand I’m BACK! I took a bit of a hiatus because Christmas snuck up on me like merrily clad ninja then it was GO! GO! GO! for like 2.5 weeks. That’s all over now. So, it’s back to Monday’s Martial Madness for me, and you.

Today I’m offering a very unequivocally punctilious (ha ha, made you look up words!) list of New Year’s Resolutions that every martial artist should make. This list will insure that you are the best martial artist you can be for the coming year.

Do it all RIGHT NOW: I think it’s important to get your black belt as soon as possible. That means you have to spend every moment obsessing over every exhaustive trifle of your martial style. When you’re that awesome, who needs sleep?

The Hurticane is the only technique you need.

Punch and kick at ANYONE and ANYTHING: They say practice makes perfect, right? Well, how can the quintessential martial artist be the BEST if he doesn’t throw strikes whenever possible? Truly, one must use his skills on every unsuspecting street light, tree, and grandma on the street.

Or in this case, every unsuspecting Bob.

Start a YouTube Channel about your martial art style: Why NOT use the best platform for telling all the people why your martial art is the BEST and every other kind SUCKS? Surely everyone deserves to know as frequently as possible, right?

Because everything else is bullshit.

Tell EVERYONE you care about how deadly you are: Your loved ones need to come into alignment with the TRUTH. How else you could they know if you don’t tell them? Make sure you how you’re going to KILL the next person that messes with you, frequently and loudly so they don’t miss a word.

I dye my clothes in the blood of my enemies.

I hope you feel more inspired to get out there and be as insufferable as possible!

Happy New Year.

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