Monday’s Martial Madness: How to Succeed at Life- The Martial Arts Edition.

Of all the tenets of life, the martial arts has the most preposterous amount of life-altering sayings and philosophies. There are thousands of years, and masters, from whom we’ve derived myriad high-falutin’ ideologies that can, and do, change your life for the better and actually SUCCEED like Chuck Norris, who apparently succeeds without even trying.

I’ve carefully and thoughtfully curated several of these truisms from my favorite source of wisdom, the internet. As we all know, if it’s on the internet, it must be true. This 3-step plan will help anyone who has the guts to get the glory.

Step One:
When life gets in your way, kick it in the head.

Why let life win and take away all the fun? Kicking it in the head puts a swift end to all that nasty responsibility and maturity that’s holding you back. There’s no referee’s taking points away when life is on the line, so give it all you got. That’s right, just plow right through life with your favorite high kick.

Step Two:
Quote Bruce Lee Sayings at Everything

Bruce Lee, and many other masters, are well known for their sayings and philosophies about life and the martial arts. To be sure, every life circumstance has a bit of wisdom on can apply to overcome. For example, Bruce Lee is oft quoted as saying, “Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.” How does that help me succeed at life you ask? The answer right in front of your face my friend. Don’t like your job? Get rid of it! Love pizza and ice cream? Absorb those puppies in your INTESTINES. Want to make something your own? Write your name on it. Bruce Lee was a genius.

Step 3: 
Make life submit to you, by grappling it to the death.

Everyone knows that the way to win a fight is to get someone in a chokehold, an arm bar, or some other grappling submission. Same thing is true about LIFE. You really need to squeeze the life out of, um, uh, life. Grappling with it, then getting into a rear naked chokehold will make it stop squirming and give in to your demands. Don’t let life win and keep you on your back.

I hope this guide is helpful as you go about your day. I really recommend getting out there and using all of your martial skills to defeat life and win!