Monday’s Martial Madness: The 12 Days of Martial Arts 🎄

Dear Reader, You are about to embark on a non-sensical journey of wonder.  You’re probably gonna wonder about this little ditty.  Why in the world would anyone do this on PURPOSE.  While it is possible to get injured practicing a martial art, it doesn’t happen this fast or intensely.  Rather, this is an imaginative a retelling of many injuries collected by many martial artists over the past century condensed into 12 days. Because Christmas, and madness.  

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Monday’s Martial Madness: How to Make a Martial Art Out of ANYTHING

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, Gurg learned that he could stop his neighbor, Brob, from taking his portion of mammoth by hitting him with a stick just below the eyes.  Somewhere else, some other prehistoric dude found poking Zur in the eyeball helped him impress the local prehistoric babes.  Since then, humans have found numerous ways to hit, kick, maim and otherwise kill each other.  Some have organized their techniques into whole systems.  Some of these you may know: kung fu, karate, tae kwan do, and that barbaric sport pigeon-do.  Never heard of pigeon-do? It’s by far the deadliest martial art known to man, even worse than krav maga.

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Monday’s Martial Madness: A No-Touch Thanksgiving Tutorial

It’s that time of year again. An overflow of food and relatives that can a person feel overstuffed physically, and emotionally.  The madness that overtakes us every year can be daunting, and perhaps make us shut down with all of the work that comes with adhering to tradition by preparing, and eating, massive amounts of food.  I’m here to help you overcome the plague of busyness by helping you develop you’re martial skills in the area of preparing the fearsome feast known as Thanksgiving.  Because training is life, and life is training.

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Monday’s Martial Madness: The True Meaning of Martial Arts Memes

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I know what you’re thinking.  Memes are pretty straightforward, right?  I mean it says right on the meme what it’s all about, duh.

What if I told you there is a hidden message that only truly great masters can understand?  Ancient wisdom passed down through the ages must be hidden in the most archaic forms of art, philosophy, and religion.  Those of lucky enough to find this wisdom can indubitably become better versions of ourselves.

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Monday’s Martial Madness: The Art of the Fart (a.k.a. How to Break Wind like a Ninja)

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Farts come, and farts go.  We’ve all been there, right? RIGHT?? Hello?? Farts are one of the many major pitfalls of group dynamics.  Some of the great questions of human society are, how does one let one out and not sending the team packing?  How loud is too loud? Is it ok to use the Ninja Fart method?  Can I blame the person next to me without casting suspicion on myself? Was it really THAT bad?

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