It’s that time again boys and girls for that magical, mystical ride into the untold wisdom of the Cookie of Fortune. Not to be confused with the Wheel of Fortune of course. You can eat a cookie, but a wheel won’t work out for you because a rolling wheel will gather no floss.Continue reading “Fortune Cookie Wisdom Wednesday”
“I want you to go to failure,” says my personal fitness trainer as my heart rate swoops upward, and I grunt my way through the fifth rep of single leg walkouts. For the uninitiated: a single leg walkout consists of squatting, leaning over to walkout to a plank with my hands, do a pushup or hold the plank, then walk myself back to squatting and then standing up while pushing through my heel, ALL ON ONE LEG (see video below). I can modify this exercise so that 60% of my weight is on the side I’m working on, and 40% is on the other leg. I am absolutely not able to do this without my other leg sharing the load, at least not yet (I watched someone he was training do this all on one leg, so I know it’s possible). As he introduces each knew exercise into the day’s routine, he says he wants me to grunt, to fail, to push when my muscles are burning, until I cannot move that way anymore in that moment. This way of exercise is exhausting, and maybe a little intimidating.Continue reading “Go to Failure.”
Have you ever noticed that when practicing a technique the left side doesn’t necessarily follow suit with the right? It becomes all awkward, like a newborn babe who has never kicked anyone, ever. My body, like yours, needs to GET. ITSELF. TOGETHER. Especially, my feet. That left foot of mine, is insanely…uncoordinated. And that’s putting it MILDLY. I’ve caught onto it’s wily ways and have decided to shame it into subservience with…a poem. Because, the best insults are the most well-crafted as our brother Willy Shakespeare shows in his plays. So, please, if you like the poem and want to tell your left to step off and get back in line, by all means, read this out loud to it.Continue reading “Monday’s Martial Madness: Ode to My Left Foot- Evil Twin of The Right One.”
Dear Reader, You are about to embark on a non-sensical journey of wonder. You’re probably gonna wonder about this little ditty. Why in the world would anyone do this on PURPOSE. While it is possible to get injured practicing a martial art, it doesn’t happen this fast or intensely. Rather, this is an imaginative a retelling of many injuries collected by many martial artists over the past century condensed into 12 days. Because Christmas, and madness.Continue reading “Monday’s Martial Madness: The 12 Days of Martial Arts 🎄”
I know what you’re thinking. Memes are pretty straightforward, right? I mean it says right on the meme what it’s all about, duh.
What if I told you there is a hidden message that only truly great masters can understand? Ancient wisdom passed down through the ages must be hidden in the most archaic forms of art, philosophy, and religion. Those of lucky enough to find this wisdom can indubitably become better versions of ourselves.Continue reading “Monday’s Martial Madness: The True Meaning of Martial Arts Memes”
Farts come, and farts go. We’ve all been there, right? RIGHT?? Hello?? Farts are one of the many major pitfalls of group dynamics. Some of the great questions of human society are, how does one let one out and not sending the team packing? How loud is too loud? Is it ok to use the Ninja Fart method? Can I blame the person next to me without casting suspicion on myself? Was it really THAT bad?Continue reading “Monday’s Martial Madness: The Art of the Fart (a.k.a. How to Break Wind like a Ninja)”
*Disclaimer: I study Ninpo, Ninjutsu, Ninja Weapons, and Classic Jujutsu.
So, yeah, I’m a ninja and I’m making fun of myself.Continue reading “Monday’s Martial Madness: WE ARE NINJA! (Sung to the tune of Queen’s “We Will Rock You”)”