Monday’s Martial Madness: It’s Time to Spring Forward, or How to Karate Chop Your Way Through the Week After the Daylight Savings Time Change

Or don’t because you have morning death breath.

Woe to America! The government’s done it again: they’ve taken our precious sleep right out from under us! Unless you live in Arizona, or some obscure parts of the mid-West, they’re A-ok all snug in their hoity-toity god-like smarty pants beds snoring while the rest of us suffer. I think most Americans agree by now that this here DST is getting down right annoying. 90% percent of us don’t farm, or whatever, and don’t really care about when the sun rises, or sets. We only care that it keeps on keepin’ on, because ARMAGEDDON.

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